There was a time when a man’s word was spoken of as his bond. The phrase may sound old-fashioned, but the idea behind it is entirely practical. A man who does what he says saves other people from doubt, wasted time and disappointment. He is trusted not because he makes grand declarations, but because the […]
A man may be impeccably mannered in company and careless when he thinks no one can see him. He may speak beautifully about honour, then take the convenient shortcut as soon as it becomes possible. Private conduct tells the fuller story. Integrity is the agreement between the standards you profess and the decisions you make […]
A disagreement often changes course at the moment we stop listening. We begin composing our reply, searching for the weak point and imagining how the exchange will sound to somebody watching. The result may be a convincing performance and a poor conversation. Disagreeing well starts with a different intention. Understand the claim, explain the objection […]
A gentleman will make mistakes. He may speak carelessly, arrive late, fail a friend or let his temper get the better of him. The important distinction is not between men who have erred and men who have never erred. It is between the man who accepts responsibility and the one who spends his energy explaining […]
There is no shortage of advice about looking like a gentleman. Choose the right jacket, learn which glass belongs to which drink, buy a better watch. None of that tells us much about the person wearing the jacket. A man can observe every formal rule at dinner and still be rude to the waiter. He […]