As boys, many of us learnt the meaning of friendship through shared work and time spent together rather than great speeches about feelings. A man helped another with a difficult job, turned up for an important occasion or kept a confidence. Those gestures remain important. Friendship between grown men has to survive work, family commitments, […]
Most of us can describe a time when somebody listened and made an ordinary problem feel less heavy. We can also remember conversations in which our words were treated as an interruption before the other person could return to himself. Listening is not mysterious, but it does ask us to resist some deeply familiar habits. […]
The well-brought-up gentleman was taught to be helpful, but he was not taught to agree to everything. There is a difference between generosity and a habit of making commitments that cannot be honoured. Every man has obligations to his family, his work and the people who depend upon him. When a request conflicts with those […]
There are few greater pleasures than an unhurried conversation with a person who is genuinely paying attention. A fine exchange need not involve extraordinary wit, fashionable opinions or a table full of accomplished people. It can begin with an ordinary question asked at the right moment. Yet conversation is easily spoiled by a man who […]